How Can I Be In Love With An Addict And Hate It So Much?

My first breakthrough in self improvement was reading a book entitled Codependent No More. This book and the article here both mention how wrong and guilt ridden it feels to focus on the self but it is imperative to prevent the addiction from taking more than one life. Dealing with this problem and the depression affected my work performance but I have reigned it in and it has taken effort I never thought I was capable of. I feel at times like I am partner-less and it is debilitating. Whenever I raise concern it is downplayed or responded to with derision, sarcasm, silence, mocking, general bad attitude. She is able to spend weeks without cocaine only because I am unable to afford it and as it is we are in precarious financial situations because I have no real form of monetary help.

On two occasions, he had a white powder in his nose hairs. I thought it was from the baby powder he used after he showered. I was devasted when I found a clear glass tube that was burnt on the end and some other drug paraphernalia in his house coat pocket. He died not knowing I had found out he was addicted to drugs.

Want to End the Pain and Suffering

The sober person in the relationship would want to keep their partner away from drugs and alcohol at all costs. However, that behavior could enable the addict’s substance or drug use. Instead of having the best interests of the addict’s life at heart, their tolerance to the addiction could make the problem worse.

loving an addict

Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Calls to any general helpline (non-facility specific 1-8XX numbers) could be forwarded to SAMHSA or a verified treatment provider. Calls are routed based on availability and geographic location. The information provided on is intended for educational purposes, and is not a substitute for professional medical treatment. Our compassionate admissions navigators are ready to help you or a loved one when you call our 24/7 addiction helpline.

What Are 5 Signs That Indicate A Person Has An Addiction?

As a result, she has subsequently been described as ‘feeling like a «love addict» enslaved to obsessive-compulsive patterns of behaviour’. Addiction is so shameful for the addict—despite what loved ones often believe about addiction, the addict really does suffer. If you can love the individual without placing blame or shame, even just once in a while, this compassion can go a long way for the addict. Poor or inconsistent relationships with people in your life, including the addicted person. Addiction is completely self-serving, and your addicted loved one will choose their addiction over all other concerns. Spinning out of control, the addict has no intention of stopping for the sake of others.

An addict might be understandably upset and feel betrayed when they see how people from different facets of their life come together. That explains why a professional is necessary to steer the event in the right direction. A concerned loved one will need to seek expert help to stage a successful one.

Sunshine Behavioral Health Facilities

Candace and her team offer individual, couple, and family counseling by telephone and Zoom worldwide. We have never met nor have had any loving an addict contact except through your most amazing book. The title grabbed my attention straight away so, I picked it up and started reading it.

The relationships and the world around you will start to break, and you’ll cut yourself on the jagged pieces. That’s when you’ll know, from the deepest and purest part of you, that you just can’t live like this any more. The fallout from an addiction, for addicts and the people who love them, is devastating – the manipulations, the guilt, the destruction of relationships and the breakage of people.

Similarly, a person may lose sight of the weight they may gain by eating ice cream and pizza — they can only focus on the instant gratification of food. Share several similarities, as they are both marked by strong urges that affect thinking and behavior patterns. Both love and addiction can seem irrational, but things that appear to be illogical to outsiders make perfect sense to people affected by new love or addiction.