4 Ways to Make Amends in Recovery
Content
And in some cases, you may not be able to make direct amends at all. However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work. Once you enter into sobriety, there isn’t a set timeline for working Steps 8 and 9, so you might want to ask your sponsor and recovery support network for their insights about whether you’re ready. In Twelve Step recovery, your pace is your own to determine.
- What comes up may be feelings of guilt, shame, or something else entirely.
- Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9.
- Some amends are best played out as a commitment to yourself, not to engage in the same behavior that caused the wrongdoing.
- She has created content for intherooms.com for many years and was Editor at iloverecovery.com.
- Although human relationships will always be complicated, doing our best to repair the damage restores our self-esteem and helps the other person resolve their hurt around the issue.
These promises are often the most difficult to keep because addiction plays a decisive role in a person’s ability to live up to their promises. Their parent may feel more pain for their addicted child’s inability to get sober than the material items lost due to the thefts. In particular, he discusses how to heal when the person we need to make amends with is no longer living. Living amends means actively improving relationships in your life with a concentrated and focused effort. Visit relatives more often, mentor young people you know, teach people close to you skills you’re good at or make time for a regular date night with your partner. Rather than making apologies and then repeating old behaviors and re-opening old wounds, commit to living a sober and healthy life.
What the Steps Say
I’m the guy that’s bleeding and dying on the ground, and I have to have God. Be Sincere Don’t make the amends unless you are ready to be sincere in owning your wrongs. Avoid making an amends by text message or email, you want the amends to be as sincere as possible— showing effort and care. Amends are basically a verbal acknowledgement of your wrongdoing, and asking what that person needs from you to make the situation right again. You make amends in a process, first you must be willing to make the amends. Recovery requires acceptance and accountability on your behalf.
- I would say most of the women that listen to this podcast have some serious things going on or they are trying to learn how to set boundaries.
- Also acknowledge what you have avoided that may have caused harm.
- Visit relatives more often, mentor young people you know, teach people close to you skills you’re good at or make time for a regular date night with your partner.
- I know their wives, but I don’t know them personally.
- Lists to Help you Through Any Lossis for people experiencing any type of loss.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and generalized educational living amends content about wills. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal advice. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online form.
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Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9. We make a list of all people we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all , and then make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others . But amends are so much more than just making a list and saying you are sorry, and this is where it becomes important to understand the difference between making an amends and making an apology. You need to find the approach that works best for you.
